I thought I signed up for a trip to Chicago for surgery.
I thought my part of the deal was to help Sonya through the process (and as an extra bonus, and because of my remarkable husband abilities, I’d keep our children alive, and our home from internal collapse while she was away)
I thought the emotional fallout of this experience would be limited to my deep worry over Sonya’s wellbeing, followed by the grief I might receive after not responding to email for (ugh) two weeks.
Well, I was wrong.
Somewhere somehow something happened and I moved from “doing” to “caring.”
So much for the we’ll-do-the-surgery-and-get-this-done option.
Lest you think I’ve been blowing smoke in all of these posts, of course I cared before. What do you think I am, heartless?
But something happened in this journey where I now care in a much more profound way. “Caring” kicked “doing” to the back seat.
It’s far easier to be the trustworthy-faithful-friendly-kind of boy scout. You know — send money, offer advice, and help out — all the things you’re supposed to do.
But it’s wholly different to let your heart care.
You can give at the office and help on the weekend. You can set up foundations and pass legislation for glorious ends.
But still not let your heart care.
It is not too shocking when someone does the right thing. On the other hand, it is a shocking when someone cares, and cares enough to do something.
Which is exactly why this event is so riveting. Somebody cared.
I’m still not real comfortable in the front seat of my roller coaster ride called “caring.” In fact, I’ve found it downright terrifying at times. As you might surmise Sonya has been riding this ride way longer than I’ve known it existed.
But I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I’m so glad I somehow got promoted from doing to caring. Not sure how it happened but I’ve discovered there is more life in 5 minutes of caring than a month of just-doing-the-right-thing.
And somewhere along the line this thought has occurred to me: if there is a God I’d want him to be more than a God who just does the right things, but a God who cares. Wouldn’t you?
In fact, I think there is such a God, and our capacity to care for others might just be one little confirmation of the kind of God he is.
Caring is one of the most God-like things about us.